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George Carlin’s Hair Poem

I was very surprised to hear that George Carlin died. Sure, he had a history of heart trouble, but still. I stopped following his career a while ago, but back in the day, I was a huge fan.

For my George Carlin tribute post I would like to share one of my favorite bits, the “Hair Poem.” I liked it so much I took the trouble to memorize it (I thought it would make me the life of the party or something). I still remembered most of it (Google filled in the gaps).

Hair Poem

I'm aware some stare at my hair.
In fact, to be fair,
Some really despair of my hair.
But I don't care,
’Cause they're not aware,
Nor are they debonair.
In fact, they’re just square.

They see hair down to there,
Say, “Beware” and go off on a tear!
I say, “No fair!”
A head that’s bare is really nowhere.
So be like a bear, be fair with your hair!
Show it you care.
Wear it to there.
Or to there.
Or to there, if you dare!

My wife bought some hair at a fair, to use as a spare.
Did I care?
Au contraire!
Spare hair is fair!
In fact, hair can be rare.
Fred Astaire got no hair,
Nor does a chair,
Nor a chocolate eclair,
And where is the hair on a pear?
Nowhere, mon frère!

So now that I've shared this affair of the hair,
I'm going to repair to my lair and use Nair, do you care?


"Here's my beard, aint it weird?
Don't be "skeared", it's just a beard..."

Mark, I forgot about that one. It expresses so much in so few words... thanks!


it sucks hella bad

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